Over the past two weeks I've heard people call into a radio station that I enjoy and talk about their dads. They're asked a question by the deejay: "What piece of wisdom or advice has your dad (or an influential father-figure) given you that's impacted you?" People call with many answers and some of my favorites have been: 'Pray for your neighbor' (the person added that this was super hard as a kid when the neighbor was on a rival sports team), 'never give up' (as told by a person who had watched his step-dad battle cancer for twenty years) and 'your word means everything' (meaning, if you say you're going to do it, then do it and do it to the best of your ability). But even more than the words of wisdom were the stories that each person would share about their dad or influential-male. Most of the moments were simple, but it amazed me how impactful those moments were.
That got me thinking about my dad and other men in my life who have had a major influence on how I think and even live daily. I've had the amazing opportunity to see my own father's faith journey progress from a man who didn't know God to someone who now professes to love Him and turns to Him in prayer, often leading prayers for our family when we women in the group cannot utter words. That's been so influential in my life. It affected who I was dating, but more so seeing my parents faith in their marriage guiding my own choices. I wanted that- a man who loves God- for my own life.
When I was thirteen, my dad took me on my very first "date". Although I was way too young to date, (which he made sure to remind me of) the purpose of our "date" was to show me what I should expect from a young man who had a romantic interest in me. He took me to a nice restaurant, making sure to open my car door and pull out my chair when I went to sit down. He had flowers for me on our table and gave me a card with a necklace to remind me of our special date. I should remember the words of wisdom that he extoled, but to be honest it was almost 20 years ago and my memory is known to be terrible. However, I do remember the experience and feeling completely thrilled that I was the center of my dad's attention. That experience set a high bar for the men who really courted me after that. They had my daddy's shoes to walk in and those are special shoes.
My dad has also taught me important life skills: care for those you love, work hard and be your best at work, keep your temper in check, LISTEN (my dad is a super listener), have financial goals and stick to them, the written word in greeting cards is important, give lots of hugs and embrace "resting" by really resting. I see him live these skills and values out daily and appreciate his quiet, but steady spirit. I know he's always there for me. I appreciate his laughter and (if you're lucky enough to be sitting next to him when he cracks a joke) his need to reach out and squeeze your arm for emphasis- almost like a second punchline. I love the second punchline as much as the real one.
I'm thankful for my dad and other men in my life who have had influence on me. My mother's father taught me the importance of patriotism and faith. He fought in physical wars and his own war with cancer. While fighting cancer, he underscored the importance of humor and making friends with anyone, whether they were a fellow patient or a doctor. He knew no stranger. My dad's father was the first man who I really felt completely spoiled by. His smile and laughter were contagious and he also made friends out of strangers. He was the first person who taught me about gardening and the importance of having a sacred place to think.
My father-in-law is also a man of faith who has had a profound impact on my husband, and thus on me. He taught Mike the importance of hard work and approaching problems with ideas. He is gifted with his hands, whether building furniture or fixing cars, and has passed those skills on to Mike. He was present with his kids- teaching them about the world. And he shared the love of Jesus, planting seeds of faith within his children that are still to this day growing and changing the world.
Then, there are the men in my life who aren't blood related, but who have impacted me all the same. Like my friend Rich, whom I lovingly dubbed "my DC dad", since he was present for most of my years living in DC. Rich instilled self-confidence in me when it came to my work and education. He offered words of advice and prayed with me over gut-wrenching decisions. He offered hugs and shared tears with me in moments of both triumph and devastation. Rich offered words of wisdom to overcoming a seemingly overwhelming task... I'll never forget when he asked me, "Meredith, how does one eat an elephant (a metaphor for a huge problem)?" Somewhere between my images of strapping on a bib and holding up a fork to an elephant he answered: "One bite at a time." Just start acting on the problem and tackling it a little at a time. There was also influence from one of my first professional bosses, Scott, who taught me the importance of making each person in front of me a priority, no matter what I may be thinking in my head (what elephants I may be eating away at). Or the other boss I had (no name mentioned here) who taught me that when you sit on your butt and make your employees do all the work without contributing it can cause resentment. The value of leadership combined with teamwork speaks volumes to how you feel about the team itself and where you want it to go.
I write all of this as a thanks to my dad and the men in my life who have shaped me spiritually, mentally and even physically as I've learned the importance of hugs, touch and reassuring squeezes. I'm thankful to my heavenly Father for His divine design of family and the importance of male leadership within those family units. By watching them, I can see a glimpse of God's breathtaking character and for that I am forever thankful and inspired.
