A year ago today you changed the lives of your dad and me so much more than we could have imagined. You came into the world with a strong yell as if to say hello and then you rested on me with a calmness to match your greeting. Within the first few minutes you lifted your head off my chest and looked up. This was your new world and you had to see it. And you haven't stopped looking since that moment.
Your sense of wonder and adventure are beautiful. I've enjoyed seeing you learn, explore and negotiate this place. Right now some of your favorite things are animals, waving at people (you wave at everyone you see), crawling after cats and balls, opening and closing doors (this one seems to never get old), growling like a bear and making "cheesy smiles" by crinkling up your nose when you grin.
At night, when it's the two of us, I am reminded more each day of what a gift you are. As you lie in my arms and nurse, I often wonder at the nature of God and find myself thanking Him over and over for you. For in you, I've glimpsed another side of heaven. The selfless side, the side that sees the bigger picture, the side that sent His own sweet son into a world of chaos and beauty. And when I see that side, as you lie snuggled into me and stroke your hair as I touch your cheek, I can't help but feel an overwhelming awe. What a beautiful plan God has! I know this because you are the most unimaginable person I've ever met. And yet, here you are and you are entrusted to me. I am so lucky to be your mama!
I've poured prayers over you even before you were born. And when you came those prayers only hastened and deepened. I pray for your future: that you will discover the Christ that I know whose love, hope and forgiveness is deeper than any crevice on this earth and wider than the distance between east and west; that you will grow to be a strong man whose heart is tender and leadership is strong; that you will fight for the oppressed and never turn a blind eye to those in need; that you will find a woman to marry who lives and loves God like you do; that you will keep your sense of wonder and awe as you explore and travel; that your humor will continue through dark times of your life and your smile will touch the lives of those around you.
And I pray for the now because that's what we have in this moment. I pray thoughts of thankfulness and joy. You are such a blessing and my heart can hardly contain itself when I think of you. This job of being your mom is tough. I never thought I could function on some of these hours you make us keep and some of those diapers you create are new world wonders. But I wouldn't trade it.
Thanks for being you. Happy first birthday, sweet boy. You keep doing your thing. Grow strong, be brave, love with all your being. I'll keep watching, guiding and growing right along beside you. Most rides aren't worth doing alone and I'm honored to be in your sidecar.
Love,
Mom
