The Tale of a Murder: Good-bye to a House Mouse

Warning: The following content contains some graphic details that may not sit well with the faint of heart.

I came in from running some errands and looked into our living room. Charlotte, our kitty, was "hunting" something under the couch. Thinking that it was likely a bug, I crossed into the room and knelt down to peek under the couch at her find. To my HUGE surprise, it was not a bug, but a MOUSE!

Thankfully, this was not my first time ever encountering a mouse. Living in DC for six years and in old, drafty houses, it was quite common for mice to find ways inside. Generally, however, I never stared at one a foot from my face and, if I did, it was stuck to a glue trap.

I got up from the floor and left Charlotte on guard. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a big bowl to trap it under. After making my way back to the living room, I proceeded to "help" Charlotte corner the mouse. The mouse was on to us. It high-tailed it to the kitchen and we followed it. After what seemed like forever, I got into a position to strike with my bowl! I leaned over the mouse, with bowl in hand, and hoped my aim would suffice.

WHAM! I slammed down the bowl and surprisingly covered the mouse. It was trapped underneath. Then, I reached for the 15-pound bag of kitty food and put it on top to keep the bowl weighted down. The irony of weighing down the bowl with a bag of food that likely drew the mouse inside did not escape me.

I left the bowl in the kitchen for about three hours while I psyched myself up to "off" the mouse. Mike (who was at work) said I could let it go outside, but I have heard that once a mouse finds its way into your house it will remember and come back. Makes sense to me. So, I didn't want to let it free.

Finally, I talked myself into killing it. I justified that I would throw its body outside and something would eat it thus not letting the murder be in vain.

When in DC, I found the best way to kill the mice stuck on the glue traps was by drowning. This seems less cruel than bashing its head in and also less messy. So, that was my plan: a drowning.

I first had to get the mouse under the bowl that was on the floor to the sink. I grabbed a towel and put it on the floor next to the bowl. I pulled it taut and then slowly slid the upside down bowl over the towel. Once completely over the towel, I folded the sides over the bowl and held them tight as I flipped the bowl over and kept the mouse inside. Genius, right?!

I took the bowl, towel and little mouse to the sink. I peeked under the towel to make sure the mouse was still alive (unfortunately, it was). I started running the water into the bowl and grabbed a spoon to hold the mouse down under the water. Mice stuck on glue traps are much easier to manage, by the way.

As I put the spoon into the bowl and over the mouse, the mouse squirmed and used the spoon as a springboard to exit the bowl!!

THE MOUSE WAS ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER!!!!!!

At this point, I completely lose what was left of my cool and start narrating aloud to Charlotte, who was also on the counter and watching the fiasco.

"The mouse is on the counter, THE MOUSE IS ON THE COUNTER!!! EEEK!!" I'm sure had anyone had a camera on me they would have been laughing.

Charlotte was watching with wide eyes as the mouse ran from one side of the sink to the other.

Twenty seconds passed and it felt like five minutes. The mouse ran again, but was stopped by a cereal box. Charlotte and I cornered it and I slammed the bowl back on top of it. With my less than perfect aim, the mouse was not completely under the bowl. Its head and front right arm were sticking out of the bowl while the rest of it was under.

Decision time: 1) let the bowl up and attempt to get the whole mouse back under the bowl. This would then lead to a second attempt at drowning. And we know how the first attempt went. 2) Press down. Hard.

I went with #2... and I squealed the whole time! It took about 10-15 seconds, but I eventually stopped hearing its legs moving.

It was over. I had killed it.

I was shaking from the adrenaline and Charlotte was becoming bored. Her toy had stopped moving. I took a picture of the mouse staring lifelessly from under the bowl and sent it to Mike. If he didn't kill it for us, then I would at least make him see what he missed.

Then, I cleaned it all up and myself. I think I washed my hands five times. All the while, Isaac slept upstairs completely unaware of the murder that had taken place below him.

Just another day in paradise.