Reflections

I've been really wrestling with some demons that I thought were conquered. They're dark, slimy and make me sensitive. And slightly defensive.

I moved on, having shoved them into a box and stored them in the back of my closet. Or at least I thought I did. I did a little spring cleaning and it wasn't the fun kind. There were no warm, smiling photos. No happy notes or goofy drawings. When I opened my box, all I felt was a gut blow. Man- those demons are tough. They are overwhelming and taunting. They're like tides... slamming me down and requiring me to pick myself back up. Soaked and heavy.

Thank God for grace. I can't keep getting up without it.

According to NIV, the following is a poem. It's poetic because David wrote it "with each verse beginning with the successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet." I don't know what demons David was wrestling, what negative thoughts were pelting him, or what box he opened, but I took comfort in his words:

To you, Oh Lord, I lift up my soul;

in you I trust, O my God.

Do not let me be put to shame,

nor my enemies triumph over me.

No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame,

but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.

Show me your ways, O Lord,

teach me your paths;

guide me in your truth and teach me,

for you are God my Savior,

and my hope is in you all day long.

Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love,

for they are from of old.

Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways;

according to your love remember me,

for you are good, O Lord.

Good and upright is the Lord;

therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.

All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful

for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

For the sake of your name, O Lord,

forgive me my iniquity, though it is great.

Who, then, is the man that fears the Lord?

He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.

He will spend his days in prosperity,

and his descendants will inherit the land.

The Lord confides in those who fear him;

he makes his covenant known to them.

My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release me from the snare.

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.

The troubles of my heart have multiplied;

free me from my anguish.

Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.

See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me!

Guard my life and rescue me;

let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.

May integrity and uprightness protect me,

because my hope is in you.

Redeem Israel, O God, from all their troubles!

Psalm 25