Setbacks

There certainly have been many events since my last post. Lately, I've been torn between excitement over what's ahead and sadness over what/ who I am leaving. I feel kind of blessed that things have happened so quickly, but also a bit robbed of proper goodbye times and farewells. Because of the events between Sunday's post and today, I've provided a list to catch you up:

1. (Mon. AM) Go into work, proceed through early morning as normal (both bosses were in meetings) and tell my bosses at around 10:00 that I will be leaving in two weeks. I'm told to keep my departure on the downlow and not mention it to anyone else in the office. I don't ask questions- I just follow directions for the rest of the day.

2. (Mon. AM) Mal calls after I've given my notice; we can't move this weekend. The apartment needs to be painted and won't be ready. I'm pretty upset and call the landlord on my lunchbreak. We talk money, she tells me it won't be a problem to still move in, and that she'll get figures to me by day's end. An hour later, she emails and tells me it's not possible. Move in date is set for April 28th. I'm unhappy with our communication breakdown and let her know via email.

3. (Mon. PM) I go to Southside completely stressed out and am getting a headache. The kids are angels and by night's end they know that next Monday will be my last night as their teacher. Sad moments, lots of hugs, and questions as to whether I'm going to bring them cupcakes. Huh?? It just makes me smile.

4. (Tues. AM) I'm called into my boss' office. She asks me not to say anything about my notice until Monday. Why? Because of my fabulous timing. I turned my notice in (obviously coincidentally) one week after someone else in our office. She doesn't want to rock the boat too much and asks that we hold off on the fireworks for a bit. I'm fine with it. I can keep a secret.

5. (Tues PM) My lease is faxed to me. Some very vague sections are in it which I immediately email the landlord about and get straight answers. I write what she replies on my lease and print out the email she sent. I call my sister. While I'm handling the hard balls (deposit amounts, pet policy questions, etc), she's worried about flower boxes. I remember my first apartment leasing experience and can relate to Mallory, but also my past roommate. Clear as day, I remember tagging along with my old roommate as we apartment shopped. She had rented before and knew all the questions to ask. I think I was only concerned about washer/ drier connections and the number of baths. How the table turns and the reins are handed off...

6. (Tues PM after work) I meet one of my best friends for dinner and we hit a local Oyster Bar in Clemmons. I'll miss it incredibly. And her even more. Ironically, I saw three of my customers while we were there. I realized then what I've known all along- that I hate keeping secrets. "Can't rock the boat."

7. (Wed. AM) I have a personal list of things to do during the day. I knock my day's list out in 20 minutes. An Office Space day in my future? Hardly. I tag up with my boss shortly after and
somehow it's almost three o'clock.

8. (Wed. PM) My boss has been thinking. Maybe panicking. She has a list that I must teach my other boss how to do before I set sail in my U Haul. Our goal is to have them done by tomorrow at 4:30. It's 11 points long. Interesting.

9. (Wed. after work) Ladies Bible Study started back again tonight. I'm going to miss my girl friends so much. Tonight we just got together, talked about the book we'll be reading the next five weeks, and had dessert. Strawberry shortcake, mmm. I've joked about being on speakerphone. Sit the phone, on the coffee table (and in the middle) and I'm almost here. I'm still going to read the book (If You Want to Walk on Water, You Have to Get out of the Boat- the story of Peter) although I won't be here to discuss it in the flesh. I'm sure it will apply very much to my life right now.

10. (an hour ago) After leaving there, I pit stopped to visit some of my family. I'll miss them. We talked about my plans, my sister, my roommate, and the empty room. My job (rather, lack of), my feelings, and my plans before I leave town.

I'm tired. I'm feeling stretched and a bit stressed. I'm excited and anxious. Nervous and giddy. I'm sad and reflective. I'm me, but am searching. The next week and a half will be a rollercoaster. I catch myself just stopping. Watching, listening, and dreaming.

Plucking myself out of the daily picture.

............... and suddenly, I'm done. Emotional and exhausted, I'm going to bed.

11:44 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos -

kristina marino
you will be fine. repeat after me: i will be fine, i will be fine, i will be fine. i'm interested about the lease you have. what things did you clarify? i never really asked too many questions, but vin and i always lived in the big complexes run by big businesses... it's the small-time landlords that end up on court shows.
keep your head up!!!!!
Posted by kristina marino on Thursday, April 20, 2006 at 5:02 PM[

Meredith
Thanks, Kristina, you've been so encouraging through this whole process. I've had a better day today... was getting sleepy at the end there and just felt emotionally and physically exhausted.
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine....
As far as clarifying the lease- just minor things that I didn't want to go unanswered. Mainly for the reason you stated. This is the first time I'll be living in a small-time place and I don't want to take chances if I can avoid them. For example, the date of the rent was in the contract, but it didn't specify whether it had to be postmarked by that date or in her hand by then. Small things like that... I don't want to be taken for a ride or get burned. Also, being big sis, I feel a bit responsible for Mal too.
I don't want to meet Judge Judy. :)
Posted by Meredith on Thursday, April 20, 2006 at 6:53 PM[