Slacker

Wow, I've been really slack this past week on posting my thoughts. I think, this is in part due to the fork. I've been writing about it. You all are well aware of my attraction to D.C. It's coming to a head... the decision is looming.

I feel this pull to go. It offers promises. Of what, I'm not sure. Are they promises of what I want? Do I really KNOW what I want?

I have this constant debate in my head.

I went to lunch with my best girl friends on Sunday afternoon. The three closest ones that I have here. I shared my thoughts, thoughts that at this point are focused on a move. There's a part of me that's done- a closed chapter. And I feel this part screaming when I visit. Do it. What do you have to lose? It'd be an adventure. Isn't that what you want? A taste of adventure- change. What could happen? Lots... and it's exciting.

But then, there's Sunday. Questions are presented. I don't have answers to them. There is a feeling of uncertainty. I hear encouragement mixed with cautionary undertones. Am I paranoid about the undertones? Should I be?

I just keep praying about it.

I'm leaving Friday after work for D.C. I will have a weekend and four days. Plans are to check out apartments with my sis on the weekend and then hit the pavement Monday and apply. All over. I've never embarked on something like this. There is such an X factor. I think, in fact, that it's more than one X... perhaps even some Y's and other random numbers thrown in for the heck of it.

I've told my sister and family that I'm moving. I've told my friends I'm moving. There's even a tentative bash to be held. I haven't told work. I'm not there yet. Maybe there will be after this coming week. Maybe not. Much prayer is needed. I'd appreciate it if it crosses your mind.

My mind is full and my heart is burdened. Sorry for my slack blogging. Part of it is an avoidance. I know that the penned questions are only the tip of the iceburg. Writing them only makes me feel less certain of anything.

11:21 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos -

kristina marino
I think you are only anxious because it's out of your comfort zone. What kind of life would you lead if you stayed inside your comfort zone?? Not a very fulfilling one!! Am I right?? You do have to approach it logically as well (money, jobs, apartment, a safe place to live, etc) - but don't feel like you need to back out if just one thing is out of place. Make sure you are safe, make sure you can support yourself, and that is all you need. It's okay if you're uncomfortable - that's a temporary feeling. You will be fine! You will make your way in this world Ms. Duncan!! You rock my world!!
Posted by kristina marino on Tuesday, April 04, 2006 at 3:59 PM

Priya
hi!
i want you to know that i am so proud of you for having the courage and conviction to "hit the pavement," as you say. i agree with Kristina, sometimes you have to step outside of your comfort zone to test yourself, to grow. i learned more about myself in 2 years away from all those that i loved than i could have imagined and also realized that i didn't want to be so far away from you all. it's dorky, but it's like that old expression- it's not the destination but the journey. i don't know anyone who is absolutely sure of their decisions... but that's the beauty part! we are free to MAKE decisions, and get ourselves out of unresolvable situations if necessary. you are so lucky because there's always an exit strategy... you have an amazingly strong foundation in your family and friends, who will be there to support you, whether you are next door or 3,000 miles from home. bottom line, regardless of success or having to change your situation, you can do it- you can take the plunge! ok i'm rambling. i'll leave you be now :-)
p
Posted by Priya on Sunday, April 09, 2006 at 8:25 PM